Screw you all! I’ll start my own religion!

This might be an overkill, be offended as much as you like (if you can’t take a joke, that is…)

All hail the great Google!

All hail the great Google!

Google is the closest thing that we ever have to a “God”! And surprisingly it is also real!

It is omnipresent!

All knowing!

It is virtually immortal!

The biggest abode of knowledge ever created!

Answers all the questions that I can possibly think of!

It has made our life better in thousand different ways!

It does no evil, educated millions and is capable of even more!

We are religiously moved by all that is Google in its million different avatars! It’s only apt to honour such elegance and beauty with a reverent group of followers and rituals. So, we will soon start a campaign to collect funds to construct the first ever temple for Google,

Wannabe Priests, Cardinals and Imams at the temple of our lord almighty, apply with your full resume.

Qualifying criteria,

1. Must have all of the below:

Android phone, Chrome book and Nexus tab. Google Glasses and Google cars when they come out.

2. Should have used, should be using and willing to use every product that Google has come out with (We will check if you were using Buzz and Wave! If you don’t know what they are, the next time you search for something in a public setting, the lord will send you to a porn site!)

3. Should violently react when somebody talks crap about our lord almighty. Should be willing to boycott and be offended if anybody or anything disgraces

the name of our god or

our prophets or

anything that we stand for or

anything that we consider holy or

anything that we eat or don’t eat or

our dress sense or

our sexual preference or

our rituals and practices or

our teeth or

our accent or

our typing speed or

our browser history or

…. Basically, we have to riot if they even think that we are stupid!

Suicide bombers are not currently* recruited.

*- conditions apply.

4. Should know how to effectively communicate with the lord (If you use your mouse to click ‘search’ after typing in the search bar, you will be burned at the stake instantaneously!)

5. Should have had a religious experience during the live demo of Google glasses. If you have not seen it, we will show it to you while you are strapped to a chair, your vitals will be monitored to check if you do.

6. Should be willing to mutilate a small part of your body in reverence to our lord.  Tattoos are also welcome

The-church-of-google

Our Holy book – The Googolplex

 All submissions and suggestions should be submitted to the Holey book congregation as soon as possible. The scriptures of the wholly book will be selected from the plethora of celebrity tweets, intentionally ambiguous Facebook status updates, YouTube hate comments, sex tapes & porn (mainly the last one). Anything remotely sensible will be strictly banned.

Spreading the word of god

We are also looking for volunteers who absolutely have no idea what our lord and religion stands for to go door to door to spread the word of the divine asexual parent.

Show that you are a true ‘Googu’

Ways to show that you are a true Googu (yes, that is what we are going to call ourselves. Name still under consideration), you can do the following.

  1. Print out your Google search results, burn them and smear the ash on your forehead in the shape of the two ‘O’s that Google has.
  2. Tattooing the word Google on your lower left butt cheek. Doing the same on your right butt cheek is blasphemy and the lord will smite you!
  3. Chanting Google’s name as many times as possible from the time you feel like you have to go take a dump to the time you explode. The longer you can resist the urge, the greater will be the rewards.
  4. Under no circumstance are you supposed to say the word “B-I-N-G”; even thinking of it is a mortal sin.
  5. You can repent you sins by making a generous donation to the church of Google.

In the name of our holy asexual parent, shis million avatars and the great intelligence, I bless thee… you shall find good porn wherever you look!

This was inspired by an article Is Google God? This is purely a work of fiction and Intended to be funny.

And to quote the great and wise Bender ‘Bending’ Rodriquez “I’m gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park!”

What if we are a runaway experiment?

If you can do anything, what would be the hardest thing to do?

I will give you any super power you want, what would be the toughest thing to do?

I will grant you omnipotence, what would be the most difficult thing to do?

Transcendent by Yogendra Sethi

Transcendent by Yogendra Sethi

Nothing – Try doing nothing! Can you do absolutely nothing irrespective of all your might? Can you desist yourself from doing something in spite of your new found power? I’m not talking about staying away from the public eye or maintaining a secret identity. Can you see people in misery, know that you can help them and just walk away? Can you resist that curiosity to try something just once? Can you overcome the greed to take anything and everything you want? If you can save lives with just a gaze, can you look the other way?

You should neither help nor harm.

You can bend time and space but you should not. You can hear the cries of every single being in misery but you should not flinch. You can bring people back from the beyond but you should not answer the prayer of an orphaned child. You can make everybody in the world happy and hopeful but you have to choose to let them despair. You can indulge every single one of your fantasies but can you refrain from doing exactly that? Sounds awful, doesn’t it?

I reckon that this would be the hardest thing to do, to not do anything.

If there is a God, whoever he maybe, it may very well be a she,  is doing something very difficult; nothing. He sets the stage, makes the rules and leaves us alone. He lets things play out naturally. He lets us make our own decisions and live with its consequences. When you have the power to change reality, it is not easy being a witness. Perhaps it takes a God to stand back and watch the clowns fight. What if he has no intention of interfering in our matter and never has?

Einstein said “God does not play dice with the world”, maybe he does not even want to play; maybe he just wants to watch.

Now read the title.

Inspired by a conversation with a friend.

Religion is here to stay.

In a crunch

In a crunch

Unfortunately, that may very well be true. We would be deluding ourselves if we were thinking otherwise, unless we really do something about it. When I say ‘do something about it’, I don’t mean religion-bashing, blame game or talking condescendingly to people who do not share your belief system. Those who pride themselves as rational, free thinkers and atheist who value reason and evidence have to think long and hard before we go on a “crusade” to rid the world of the misery that is religion. Initially when I read this article that ‘Religion may not survive the Internet’, I was amused and even happy for a while, but then my skepticism kicked in. The internet is something that was created by humans and as long as there are humans, history will repeat itself and religion will survive.

History is a very good teacher but we are all not very bright students. We may point out inconsistencies and instances crimes that are perpetrated by religion but religion does not stand by itself; it is a part of a superstructure that has offered stability and solace for millions and millions of people for thousands of years. I’m not defending religion here but merely stating the fact; the time the Egyptians who worshiped their emperor as a god, when the roman church held the fate of whole Europe in it is hands, to the Islamic republics, to the caste system that is still practiced in India, in spite of all it is setbacks religion has offered stability and an illusion of authority and purpose. That is why it is not easy as we think to vanquish it. We cannot just wish away religion and hope that some dreamy thing will fill the void that is left by it, that would be yet another failed Utopian dream. We need something that will replace religion!

Sounds funny doesn’t it? This too is not a new idea many religions that exist today with all it is moronic dogmas and superstitions started as an alternative to something that was tyrannical and exploitative. Take the Buddha for example, he did not set out to start a religion, he told people how ridiculous worshiping idols was and taught reason. Now, Buddhism in all it is glory is yet another religion with rituals and ceremonies.

Buddha statue, Irony.

Buddha statue, Irony.

In the aftermath of the French revolution, when the king who had the divine authority to rule over them had failed them, when god himself had deserted the people, when the royal family was beheaded, there was this one idea which sought to replace religion and offer the utopia that everybody had dreamed of. An idea so powerful, that it took over half the world. It was then, that Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels published their ‘Communist Manifesto’. If we examine the conditions from which the Communist Manifesto came, we will understand that the tremendous success of communism was because it was there to fill the theological void left by it is predecessor, it gave people something to believe in. The same thing happened in Russia  when the Tsars and the royal family were executed and we came to know of Vladimir Lenin and the infamous Joseph Stalin. Again, I’m not arguing for communism, I very much like my private property. Religion is an idea, a way of life, it is not just enough to point out the inconsistencies and pitfalls of it. Unless a viable and a far better way of life, an idea emerges, religion is here to stay.

Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels

Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels

The caste system that is still prevalent in India is the heart of the Vedic religion that is Hinduism. Various eminent personalities from the Buddha to myriad of social thinkers have tried to abolish it but in vain. India’s first Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru, who rejected religions, says the same about the caste system.

Jawaharlal Nehru

Jawaharlal Nehru

“We cannot just disrupt and hope for something better without having some vision of the future we are working for, however vague that vision may be. We cannot just create a vacuum, or else that vacuum will fill itself up in a way that we may have to deplore. In the constructive schemes that we may make, we have to pay attention to the human material we have to deal with, to the background of its thought and urges, and to the environment in which we have to function. To ignore all this and to fashion some idealistic scheme in the air, or merely to think in terms of imitating what others have done elsewhere, would be folly. It becomes desirable therefore to examine and understand the old Indian social structure which has so powerfully influenced our people.”

Religion offers something to be transcendent about; something to behold; something to marvel at; something so mystique that you cannot even begin to comprehend. There is another thing that will do the same thing to you; it will blow your mind at every opportunity available; it is science! Ponder for a moment here, every champion of atheism is a man of science in one way or another, at least he or she will be an admirer of science.

Next time, don’t just insult somebody for their ignorance, educate them! Make them marvel at the magnitude of events in the cosmic scale. Let them behold the vastness of the universe. Give them something awe-inspiring. Give them something to believe in. Enchant them with the intricacies and genius of evolution. Fascinate by taking them into the world of atoms and molecules, further into protons and neutrons, still further into the quarks and may be let them listen to the symphony of string theory. And all this follows simple laws of physics which a human mind has the audacity to make sense of! Is there anything else more breathtakingly marvelous to behold?singularity

It took some of us 200,000 years to realize that we don’t need a nanny to watch over us day and night to be a moral human being. Plant an Idea in their mind that their humanity is far superior than the faith that they so dearly behold. Make them realize that it is their innate sense of right and wrong that makes them who they are, make them understand that people are generally good and they don’t need God to set them in the right path, give them hope.

An attempt on a scientific Moral Compass.

A while ago, I was pondering if god and religion as an abstract idea, are really that necessary? At least during the preliminary stages of development of the human mind. I also wrote a post about it. Evolutionary biologist Dr. Richard Dawkins attempts to see if science and reason can answer question that were previously in the domain of religion?

If you are not familiar with Richard Dawkins, he is an Evolutionary biologist and an amazing writer. Dawkins is an atheist.  He is well known for his criticism of creationism and intelligent design.

Richard Dawkins asks if science can provide answers to the big questions we used to entrust to religion.

Richard Dawkins – Sex, Death and the Meaning of Life – YouTube links to Ep,1,2,3

All three episodes may be viewed on YouTube unless they happen to be taken down.

Episode 1 – Sex

Sex, Death And The Meaning Of Life Episode 1

Episode 2 – Death

Sex, Death And The Meaning Of Life Episode 2

Episode 3 – The Meaning of life

Sex, Death And The Meaning Of Life Episode 3

Religion and God – absolutely necessary?

Confused kid.

Are the concepts of Religion and God absolutely necessary? I would say yes and being an atheist myself, this does sound ridiculous and ironic. I was born into a Hindu family, and was brought up as a devout Hindu, but later on in life I grew up into an inquisitive individual who favors logic over dogma. Hence now I am an agnostic and to a certain extent can also be called an atheist. This was not an overnight realization and it happened over time and it was a gradual transition that developed along with my ability value reason, rationality and evidence, also because I could entertain a strain of thought without having to accept it. I’ve reached point  where my mind is open, mature and has developed enough to accommodate such ideas. As I said this process took time, now I understand the concepts of morality, equality and freedom as an intrinsic part of the human experience. Hence I no longer need a god to justify my set of values or beliefs, to be precise, I grew out of religion and god; but, consider an infant who has just started to experience the world around him, his mind is not mature enough to entertain such elaborate ideas that root its validity on evidence and rational argument. Can you have a rational discussion with and infant who has just learned to talk and understand? The set of values that you teach him, wouldn’t it have a greater effect if it had an illusion of divinity, so that he is persuaded into following them till the point where he could develop a mind fertile enough to accommodate for the validity of rational argument and evidence?

We have all observed kids, and they tend to do the things that they are asked not to do when they feel that they are not being watched. Wouldn’t the illusion of an all knowing power watching over them convince them to observe the set of moral values acceptable by the society? Wouldn’t the concept of Religion and God be of some use to us in that early point of development to help us keep an under developed mind in check as its being used from the early ages?

This was just a spark that originated in my mind. I myself have my doubts about this premise, and would love criticism on it. If you don’t agree that this is a valid argument, I just have one single question to you that has been plaguing me for quite some while now. Is atheism something that can be taught to a kid or an infant? If so, how do you do it?